"The Carpenter and The Dainty Bride" m. Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander l. Les Claypool Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003) To the Carpenter said the dainty bride The grass appears greener on the other side So let's clarify before we unite The grass is never greener on the other side To the carpenter said the dainty bride I pledge to you my love tonight But I will not hesitate to euthanise If the grass becomes greener on the other side Said the carpenter to the dainty bride I would never do a thing to jeapardise This union I consider a prize Grass will never be greener on the other side To the preacher man said the dainty wife He thought the grass was greener on the other side So I buried in his belly my butcher knife And ended these years of wretched strife Said the preacher man to the guilty wife Though the law may give you twenty years to life Pray forgiveness in the Father's eyes And the grass may just be greener on the other side "Pilcher's Squad" m. Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander l. Les Claypool Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003) Sgt Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, ingeneous Sgt Pilcher He's found a way to make them pay, for the deviant things they do and say Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, quick-witted Sgt Pilcher He's a dutiful man with his task at hand and he's bound to insure with his masterplan The purity of the motherland, Sgt Pilcher In October of 1968 in the heart of Montague Square There was a rumour of some deviation, so Pilcher's Squad was there Though it was determined before the intrudence that the flat was fully clear When Pilcher arrived and made his inspection the hashish magically appeared Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, ingeneous Sgt Pilcher He's found a way to make them pay, for the deviant things they do and say Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, quick-witted Sgt Pilcher He's a dutiful man with his task at hand and he's bound to insure with his masterplan The purity of the motherland, Sgt Pilcher In March of 1969 on return from the store Patty Harrison found Pilcher's squad waiting at her door Planting tidbits on the popstars seemed quite the thing to do 'til it landed Pilcher in the pokie in 1972 Sgt Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, that cunning Sgt Pilcher He's found a way to make them pay, for the deviant things they do and say Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher, sharp as a tack that Pilcher He's a dutiful man with his task at hand and he's bound to insure with his masterplan The purity of the motherland, Sgt Pilcher "Mary The Ice Cube" m. Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander l. Les Claypool Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003), They Can't All Be Zingers (2006) I once had an ice Cube, pretty little ice cube, now it's gone, now it's gone Her name was Mary, pretty little ice cube, now she's gone, now she's gone She was so shiny, my pretty little ice cube, now she's gone, where's she gone' She's gone with the others, the shiny little ice cubes Movin' on, movin' on, she's gone, she's gone Doesn't nothing ever last forever', doesn't nothing ever last forever' Doesn't nothing ever last forever' I miss my ice cube, pretty little ice cube, since she's withdrawn I held her in my hand, my chilly little ice cube, was it wrong', was it wrong' She slipped away, my moist little ice cube, to olblivion, oblivion! She left me standing with tears on my face, on the lawn, so I wrote this song Pretty little ice cube where have you gone' Pretty little ice cube where have you gone' Pretty little ice cube where have you gone' Pretty little ice cube, doesn't nothing ever last forever' Now She's gone, now She's gone, now She's gone, nothing ever last forever, now She's gone Doesn't nothing ever last forever', doesn't nothing ever last forever' Doesn't nothing ever last forever' It's been declared that it's not wise to prize something too much I just wish to find something to fondle and to touch so gently Doesn't nothing ever last forever' "The Last Superpower aka Rapscallion" m. Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander l. Les Claypool Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003) I got blood in my gas tank, bones in my steel I eat California condor for my Thanksgiving meal I'm the last superpower, I'm the son of a loaded gun, I'm Rapscallion When I was young and shiny boy, I tried to dig my way to China I met the Rapscallion en route from South Carolina Then he told me I don't like, I don't like you He said I'm searching for a coloured man, I said what colours have you seen' He said I seen 'em black and brown and red, but, but, but the one I seek is green Then he told me I don't like, I don't like you, I'm Rapscallion "My Friend Fats" m. Les Claypool, Larry Lalonde, Tim "Herb" Alexander l. Les Claypool Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003) My Friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy, let me tell you why He's the epitome of neighbourly, my friend Fats, He's a hell of a guy, let me tell y'all why, he drips personality My friend Fats, he's a heck of a joe, you should watch him go, bopping in the band shine with a bota bag of fried wine My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy, let me tell you why He's lowbrow nobility, my friend Fats, he's a jovial sort when he's holding court the anecdotes go round and the lager goes down My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy And just as long as he's high he has no anxiety about his chemical dependencies Fats has no concerns about the candle that burns both ends simultaneous, both ends simultaneous My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy, let me tell y'all why He's not much for punctuality, but heck on debauchery Fats, he's a hell of a man, can't y'all understand Him taunting his mortality, he's unnerved by sobriety